12.5.2025
Running the code for the last part of my final project is QUICKLY eating all my battery life and I forgot my charger. If I actually get thru all the models I gotta fit I'm exporting a bunch of shit so I can at least do the writing part about model performance on a library computer once my laptop dies. Conceptually I love neural networks and random forests but I do not like waiting for them with cross validation and tuning and thousands of observations. Ack
11.30.2025
This final paper is kind of hell but i'm also getting to know new kinds of joy. Finding a whole book that's EXACTLY what you need and in your language when the fate of the universe is at stake (due date is tuesday) is unreal. I love Noricum I love friendly relations with Rome I love sending dudes back and forth with Julius Caesar
11.28.2025
I do like Windows' idea of "a computer you can talk to" I just wish it didn't mean so much extra space taken up...and stuff you can't opt out of and therefore privacy issues. Adding this later in the evening btw YOU SHOULD WATCH SHELBY OAKS!!! I thought it was good and very hereditary-adjacent. Maybe not the best if you're a legit critic tho, I just really liked hereditary and haven't seen more than like one or two things so far that measure up to that.
11.24.2025
There's several fixes I gotta make on here but I just made an entomology tumblr and working on the theme for that is looking more appealing. Idk if I can really call it a blog but I def want to develop it and put some longer stuff on there eventually. I also got the domain vespulainfernalis.blog for it because it was my birthday yesterday and I was really feeling it but it hasn't Appeared yet so I need to look into it. I haven't read much of the Aeneid yet just because I want to get INTO it so I am waiting until my clear sticky notes get here. Prob should've taken the Odyssey that serious too but there's some major bars and mythology stuff in here that I want to keep track of. The propaganda and contextual aspect of it is also interesting imo. Kinda fanficy but they could never make me hate Augustus idgaf
11.6.2025
Interesting week. Had election day off and not much HW but research has been A Lot. Also I forgot the login to my statuscafe and it's not saved. Next week will be rough and evil so I'm trying to get ahead and prepared for all that. I'm also almost done with the Odyssey and that means AENEID TIME NEXT >:))
10.17.2025
VERY good creepypastas lately. Also classics is getting way more involved than I thought. Reading the one applicable part of De Architectura for my semester research paper and I now feel less stupid for still keeping up with astrology. Feels more valid when I remember that they did the same thing and its not just a white girl thing (in the US at least).
10.16.2025
I have aquatic snails now!! When I got done babysitting my friend's tank of them I had to drain the water before giving them back and one or two ended up in the last load of water (I did it one bowl at a time so I wouldn't pour any snails down the sink and could check each load). Didn't immediately dump it out so I didn't notice they were there until like a day later and I didn't want to kill them or give them back to him bc he has tons and I'm lazy so I kinda just let them sit in a temp tank thinking they'd die naturally or I eventually would run them up to his room. Nope !!!! They laid several clutches of eggs that hatched and still are hatching! I got this hexagonal 2.5 gal for them and put aquatic plants in there and am working on getting the water conditioned properly so it doesn't mess up their shell development. Very interesting ocurrence
10.11.2025
Kind of a rant but not a vent, just pondering it. I was super into new age stuff in high school right before I got diagnosed with ocd and once I got medicated for it and kinda stopped tweaking I realized how much of that was due to the tendency towards superstition and ritual that came DIRECTLY from the ocd. In the past year or so I've kinda missed some of it because believing in higher things is comforting and it is nice to have something to "fall back on". I also noticed that some of my habits from that phase still kinda linger, mostly in how I do certain things around days of the week and moon cycles and all that. Also I can't for the life of me give up astrology that one is just too stuck so I still look into that, but in a more "normal" less serious way. The main thing that fully went away is crystals and allat but that's probably for the best. Without getting into embarrasing revealing detail (I kinda hate admitting it and giving a name to it bc it feels real then), there have also been some things lately that I notice that are low key spiritual or woowoo or whatever but that feel Right and Good without interfering with daily life. I wanna say it feels different than The OCD Usual that usually comes with some pressure or bleeds into the obsessions/paranoia (currently it's getting sick), but I'm not entirely sure if I can trust it. It's easier to just cut it all off but idrk if I can. I think it's a good influence, though. I'm more intentional and have a new source of motivation and accountability that makes things feel smoother and easier and in some cases more natural. School/performance-wise I actually do way better with this so it can't be that bad. I just don't want to accept it because I think I'm incapable of being normal about any kind of spirituality without it being mentally ill bs. I think that one line from Meditations kinda did me in because of how reasonable it sounds when he says it. It's very comfortable but I can't let myself call it what it is if that makes sense.
10.4.2025
Every time I get fucked up about Happenings in america the UK (or entire EU) goes and does something so 1984 it makes me remember things could be worse
9.30.2025
Updating my R today this feels like the computer equivalent of doing the laundry :| I also wish you could do more with RStudio's appearance besides just the theme within the panes, like I wish the background holding them could be customized a little. I don't mind how it looks but a nice dark grey with the same effect would be better than the blue you're stuck with
9.19.2025
Up until this point any complaining I've done on here has been ridiculous because this has EASILY been the most stressful week of maybe the Year because of the experiment. I swear I will write that longform thing about the whole experience making the Programs for it soon but one thing didn't work as expected (lack of understanding how shiny.io pulls data on my part) so it ended up being A Lot. It was fine and I got it figured out but it required a lot more manual updating than anticipated which of course takes time and for some reason people expect me to be available 24/7 for whatever. It's done now tho!! And the webapp is getting changed into a very Static data viewing and downloading thing as opposed to viewing the most recent stuff as it comes in. I'm gonna try this evening to put all the data in google drive to save space so everything can still be held but not have to be uploaded (very slow or impossible). Mystery non covid non flu virus going around my school also. Last night two friends and I went to a recital of part of the Aeneid to music. It was fully in latin and I couldn't read the english translation of the lines being projected but GOD it was so cool. One of those friends is either a latin major or a classics major I forgor but he was super into it. I wanna know what happened so now I gotta actually read the Aeneid, which is probably for the best, but the music and reader did an insanely good job conveying what was going on through just Sound and Tone Of Voice and Speed and how the syllables were broken up. Very impressive and I have no idea how you even rehearse something like that. He was a guitar soloist reading while playing but he used the guitar as like the full soundtrack. Idk how to put it without sounding stupid and uncultured but he wasn't playing it Normally he was using it as percussion and sound effects and scraping the strings and all that like it was EVERYTHING. One of those You Had To Be There things bc I honestly can't describe it well at all. Eventually another guitarist came in for backup and in the final part there was a string quartet. The transitions between acts/scenes were very well done also. The silence between things was also a major part of the flow of it all. It was all very intentional. I get how people could listen to these things for Hours back in the day
9.9.2025
Watched the new conjuring movie and I definitely see why it's getting like 6-7/10 rating. Not my favorite plot especially after having read about the actual smurl haunting but the characters are good enough to make it Decent. Specifically Lorraine. Most of this movie was just how much Torture can she get put through tbh. I won't spoil it just in case but the Parallels between the two events that almost kill Judy got me fucked UPPPPPPPPP
9.8.2025
The simulation I've been working on runs 1million iterations and it takes So Long :// I need to do it a few times to compare results for different values of one of the variables. Also error bars on my plot aren't displaying correctly but everything else is going fine. Analysis program also very very almost done and the only fix left is pulling data from the right spot without it freaking out. This wouldn't be an issue if I didn't need (university) admin permission to connect to our group's onedrive thru Microsoft365R. I also have to demo both these things this evening (it's 8:51AM while I'm writing this) and it would be soooo cool if they would work. I'm excited to have them done and also to see them WORK
9.1.2025
Merry labor day :D more AI thoughts fo today. I could be wrong here but I think LLMs are kinda hitting a plateau, not image gen maybe bc that just keeps getting freakier but yk. With stuff like chatGPT, there isn't a whole lot going on besides improved efficiency, and people seem to be noticing it. I think the fear of it, mostly about it taking everybody's jobs, comes from overestimation of its inherent abilities and (root of the issue) lack of knowledge about how they actually work. It really can only do so much and I was Pondering it this morning and wondered if part or maybe even half the issue is on us. Humans fully choose to use it for whatever reason, and those reasons can be super revealing. You know this meme 
Some of it reminds me of that last bit. PEOPLE are choosing to use it for creative or basic tasks like writing, brainstorming, etc. Completely optional!! This is all a choice and USUALLY an unprofitable/less efficient one!! People who aren't lazy and care about developing those skills simply Aren't relying on it because they don't have that Want for it. Maybe chatgpt dependents just have zero self respect and no motivation to do anything or just don't understand the value of patience and boredom and learning and struggling. I also do not give a gaf whatsoever if people use it because they're lonely because being able to spot quick, convenient, too good to be true solutions and Avoiding them is an important thing. Idk I get more and more apathetic to it all as the situation develops. Those people and companies will fall behind and as the AI hype dies and as it transitions to being just another tool it'll be easy to see how stupid it was to ever rely on it or have any kind of inflated view on what it is for good or bad. Ohwell
8.24.2025
Watching the truman show rn this might be one of the (technically?) best movies I've ever seen. Some of these scenes remind me of those meta glasses that people are using for videos lately. I wonder if anyone's ever had the delusion that they're being watched and recorded and posted whenever they see someone with newer looking glasses.
8.23.2025
ATIA: A friend makes plans with me that start around 9:30AM, he gets drunk and stays up crashing out til 4am and doesn't wake up til [he hasn't yet as of writing this at 11AM], so I end up doing stuff with some family members at 1 instead of keeping my whole day open waiting on him?? My thought process there is if you couldn't get up for a time you agreed to without being like "hey can we do it later instead" idgaf and I'm going to do other stuff with other people and not waste the day bc YOUR sleep schedule is bad. I like him but he is quite literally the best anti-alcohol campaign ever. Anyway I got some apple juice and yogurt at da sto and gas in my car and cleaned and did laundry and stuff this morning #lockedin. This first week of school has been Busy but yesterday was super fun and reminded me it's all worth it fr. Got to spend the last club fair with several buddies and right after went to the gym with four Close friends (including that guy who isn't up yet) and then for pizza after that. I can also bench the bar consistently and well again!! And curl 15s!! Comeback arc gonna be crazy I am Excited by the mystery summer progress that I think might be coming partially from improved core strength
8.17.2025
Working on stuff rn. The main thing left is to get my app ready for distribution after I get the UI where I want it and add the code that'll get two Counts of things (more details coming on a page soon to appear). Also stuff like making it run as fast as possible but yk, worst part is over. I also have my my tiny radio/casette player on the desk rn with the antenna max extended and found a good rock station I haven't been on before. Way better songs than the main ~alternative~ one in my area so I think I will just be leaving this. Tomorrow is my last first day of class (in person at least) which is kinda weird to think about. I'm gonna try to not overthink and ruin my last semester by being like "ohh..last time I'll __ :(" all the time. WE MOVE!!
8.12.2025
Kind of literally me right now
I also want to get more into writing actual Things than just complaining and talking about day to day stuff on here. We Shall See if that actually happens. Also my refrigerator broke again and there is possible black mold behind it from the leak. Living here has made me hate apartments and the people who own them beyond belief and the constant 78-80 degrees is going to cause a mental break if it doesn't get fixed within like 4 days. (kicking rocks sadly) I'm getting paid 150$ to help with parking at another apartment tomorrow tho so things are maybe looking up. If that money hits AND the AC gets fixed within the same dayish it'll feel more like a holiday than most actual holidays
8.11.2025
In a shocking turn of events my AC is broken AGAIN !!! The damage and repairs and stuff killed it for my whole floor (at least). I got bored the other day and started burning albums and playlists for some of my friends that just want whatever on a CD for the low cost of Shipping if they're far away or free if they're in the city. Tbh i didn't think people would take me up on it bc it truly is just the music on a disc nothing fancy and I made that very clear but alas there is demand. Having a good time with it tho I kind of like packaging and sending and saving things. Today I'm trying to do it all here or at the library and stay out as long as possible bc of the miserable heat at my place. Last night me and the friend staying with me had to sleep in the living room (my room is small and hot) butt ass naked with all the fans in there turned on. If my microUSB cord gets here today tho I'll go home asap bc this is life or death in terms of getting my little dude to work again. I also just realized while writing this that I left the labled sleeve for my friend's bob dylan album at home so I gotta run back there anyway and will prob just take the bus. Everything is so evil
8.6.2025
Pwnagotchi not working when I'm trying to get back into it and I'm Queasy as usual but can't find the nausea meds hm. I haven't used the little guy in a while and Something on the PC side of things changed so now I'm having to back thru finding his ip address and ssh in etc all the stuff I did on day one. It also has booted and rebooted itself several times now idk but i will hopefully fix it within the next couple days. GOOD NEWS THO the cord for my docking station came in (Dell D6000 found used irl for 20$) and the thing works perfectly. It usually sells for 118-338 with office supplies stores selling it closer to 300. I also took a risk on the cord on ebay bc it was being sold for only 15 when most went for closer to 25 but it actually works. 35$ total for something worth a couple hundred is very nice I'm overjoyed :PPPPP Big w for my little setup and cd burning/album transfer endeavors and maybe the pwnagotchi if i can get it to FUCKING WORK. If I Do then i think the next move will be get an antenna and look into more encryption shit and start investigating the handshakes.
8.5.2025
They're doing a lot of rennovations in my apartment building right now and two nights ago it sounded like they were working some time between 11pm and 4am. I woke up in that range and heard honest to god hammering from the apartment directly above mine. Clear, patterened, hammering something in on the floor and even the setup before it with some softer hits. They'd been doing carpet/flooring stuff that day before so I assume it was more of that. At first I thought I was just hearing things so I got up to pee and they were still hammering when I got back into bed. It took me forever to fall back asleep and I did for a few hours during a break, but it started up again (closer to 3-4am here) and woke me up that time too. Obv I was pissed but I was also Completely confused as to why they'd do that at that time. Whoever thought that was a good idea should be run over because you could easily wait until maybe like 6am the next morning instead of going through the night.
8.3.2025
Ripping CDs again. Today it's Filter, Apocalyptica, Shinedown, The Ataris, and Stone Temple Pilots. I'm also seriously going to read the odyssey so I can get better at hating on the movie instead of just bitching about surface level things. I think hating people and media is one of my biggest motivators to do generally Good and Constructive things I just have evil in my heart about it
7.20.2025
Work and research stuff has been Busy. It's been interesting adjusting to being full time somewhere and having to find new times to do chores and errands on top of the grind. I will say tho the 4x10 workweek is PEAK if I ever have to go back to 5 days I'll be miserable forever bc Friday is when I hike and do appointments and Go To Tha Sto and it is SO NICE!! I've been going outside more lately and meeting some really cool people on trails and people will literally just Tell You the best lore you've ever heard if you chat them up so now I'm keeping a notebook of some of the best stories I've heard. Also may print pics? Also got a walkman recently for like 25$ on ebay. Another thing is that I don't want to go out and pay more than 20$ to get my hair cut so I've started doing it myself and that's been interesting. I absolutely fucked my shit up yesterday mostly in the front but managed to save it today so now it's a little shorter than planned but looks cool and I don't want to die going out like this. Need to update a couple thangs on here and I also gotta do laundry bleh
6.21.2025
Some of my new friends from work and I went hiking yesterday and I wish i could describe how fun it was and how pretty the place we went to see on top of the mountain was. It took us from 9:30am to about 4:30pm tho so a full day and my glutes hurt crazy now but WORTH IT!! Before this I haven't hiked more than 6 miles and this one was 12. Not *easy* ig but it went more smoothly than expected. I've felt worse at some middle school cross country meets on completely flat ground honestly. I think next weekend another group and I or at Least me and my really good buddy are going on another one to see a waterfall. I also need to update the bug page bc there were a lot of good ones up there. Lots of beetles. I love being outside and going places with the homies
6.6.2025
Went to the thrift store today and got a 5$ atrix keyboard and I'm VERY pleasantly surprised. Yes its cheap but idgaf it has window keys (my usual one has mac ones) and a numpad and is super comfy to type on. Feels nicer than my 120$ mechanical one unfortunately. My sleep schedule is so weird now that even tho I set my alarm for 9AM i woke up at 5:50 and it was Fine. It feels good to sleep late kind of but having these secret morning hours is also nice bc I got some stuff done before I go out with my friend at noon. I also thought they fixed my AC and it did work right for about a day but now my room is back to 76 degrees and won't go down. Very strange but oh well we ball everything else is great rn #hype
5.31.2025
Still busy but things looking very good rn. Spent two days with my friends last weekend it was so nice and I think we might try to go on a trip this fall, hopefully camping. It's nice making plans like that again and having something to look forward to. One of the guys is very optimistic about how the fall is gonna go and it's contagious I think or at least he's making some good points. Maybe it will be the vibe ever idfk i hope so. Also i CANNOT find any of my playlists from spotify bc i deactivated that over a year ago now and apparently just didn't save anything anywhere so that spot for playlists on my homepage is prob gonna get converted to something else- maybe CDs because I got a portable cd player yesterday and I like talking about all that. I also sometimes want to go On and On about certain current topics but just never do. Hmmmm. Today is totally free I'll just see what happens
5.22.2025
First week at my new job over and I'm about to mess my sleep schedule back up after getting a litttttle used to the weird hours. That One Math Class ended up being a B+ (unfortunate) but everything else was As and the GPA didn't drop much so oh well what can ya do. The calculus final was curved and that saved me in there since i needed an 85 to get an A. The prof said in his last email to us that he noticed several kids with grades within hundredths of the next letter grade but he chose not to round those up bc of the that because of the final's curve (no other test has been curved btw). Interesting choice there imo. April and May were MOSTLY good bc i started hanging out with my friends regularly before class and met some new people that I like a lot. Family members and people I know keep seeing rat snakes and i NEVER DO and it's making me jealous bc the pics they send me are very cute and the snakes are big and have sweet little faces. Genuinely seen every animal ever in the past monthish but not a single snake. Never in my life have i seen an Otter and this weird ass bird but still no snake. It's like the snakes all know i want to hold and pet them and want nothing to do with it.
Might put learning cpp on hold to learn tableau for work and this one class next semester. Kinda sucks but making dashboards or whatever seems to have more real world use in my field. Once the first paycheck hits i might get more paint bc im out of like everything and need to get back on that grind.
I've watched a lot of movies lately gladiator 2 is not worth it at all but the first one is peak. Daddy's Head (2024) was pleasantly surprising. Good acting from the two main protags make up for a lot of the weak points and rough spots and the concept is a little different than the usual. Ik its not a movie but anyway i straight up refuse to watch the show netflix made about alexander only because they made him look like a generic brit. Whatever gay scene doesn't matter more importantly his hair was NOT SHORT LIKE THAT he DID NOT LOOK LIKE THAT so on that alone its unwatchable
3.17.2025
Been in a secret other place below the trenches for the past two weeks but it's looking up now maybe. The midlife crisis is telling me to get back into gardening and obsess over alexander the great. Cool and fine I Guess. I want to be better at things
2.23.2025
Fiddling a lot today!! Isopod page fixed and added the link to my own thing bc I got the update sorted!! Going to an art museum with friends today. Gonna be a busy week in the lab but I am looking forward to the thing I gotta do in there on one of the days bc it shouldn't be "hard" and I like that kind of analysis and I can maybe make some good Visualizations. Gotta see if a filter on a newer power supply really reduces RMS of the magnetic field more than what it is when we use the cheaper power supply with no filter. Genuinely chill relaxing fun I can maybe do the code and Pictures in a day for that like that really Is my fav way to spend a (mostly) day off. This whole thing is long enough for a separate multiple paragraph rant but the stuff he has me doing in there really is wild. Cannot for the life of me wrap my head around how me (no electricity and magnetism background) is like exclusively doing that and now kind of manages one other person but ig if it's of no cost to you then you can use anyone for anything. I also got to do some wiring stuff last week and it was just connecting shit but it was fun and also worked how it should. In other news got an A on my 300 midterm it won't be easy but this battle can be won. There is Hope. I also made my own c++ calculator for that class bc you can't see your current grade in the class on the site we use.
2.12.2025
Writing this while I wait for my friend to get to the theatre bc another homie is in the show opening tonight. Got a ton done yesterday and this afternoon and I finally feel Kind Of caught up as opposed to like last thursday when I had to leave early from a thing bc an anxiety attack was coming on. I stopped it by just walking home before it took out my movement but god i hate that cold dry feeling in the throat and having a hard time talking and absorbing other people talking. It feels so unstable and just gross and uncomfortable (even if the nausea wasn't part of it) but knowing I can stop it by forcing myself to move and get fresh air is kinda comforting. I don't really want to get on here and complain about how hard that one class is because it feels like letting it Win when I just need to change my mindset so I am not gonna do that. The topics really are cool and I like taking notes in there with all the symbols. Things aren't exactly going WELL gradewise in there but it's still early enough to fix and whenever I get grades back i immeidately see what I did wrong. Like i know exactly what the mistakes are and how to prevent them and why they're wrong so technically it should be easy enough to improve. Very possible if I just get serious about it. It's been super rainy lately and that's also nice bc it's good coffee/tea weather.
I also had to make an app for this one HW in my time series class and it was selected as one of the best 4 out of like 50. Knowing HTML and CSS help a lot with publishing things. Made it about ISOPODS and what species are typical in a SELECTED AREA based on inat data (with pics) it is very fun to play with and I will proooobbbably post it here once I update it so that the bar color will change baesd on aquatic/terrestrial. Some big wins like that lately mixed in with abstract beating my ass daily but ohwell I will just Change it it will be Different it can be Done. The issue is that math is fun when it has NUMBERS in it and CLEAR SHAPES. Sets were evil but cartesian products are super hype and easy to get for some reason. Less 'made up' feeling and covers both x and y so that does it I think. Been very Social lately also I love hanging out with my buddies.
Current song 
Photos
11.24.25, The wasp my blog url is named for
6.20.25, the delightful Beetle found under dead flaky bark
5.30.25, things from the used book and music store
5.24.25
